


Memories

by Cylina Nightshade (Cylina)



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cylina/pseuds/Cylina%20Nightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lifetime of memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning** : Not a fairy tale ending. That's as spoilery as I'll get.

It was late by the time we finally made it to the barely held together shack we were using as a safehouse. You dropped your backpack just inside the door and leaned your back against the rough hewn wood. You had lost your hair tie and the bottom third of your braid had unraveled into golden brown waves. You looked toward me. You started to laugh.

The light sparkled in your eyes.

You took a step toward me. You reached and pulled something from my hair. I glanced and saw a leaf held between your delicate fingers. When I turned back toward you, I heard your breath catch. We were so close.

I looked into your eyes as you looked into mine.

I don’t know who moved first. Suddenly I had my lips locked against yours. It was a tentative slide of flesh at first. A simple brush against each other. Then one of your hands threaded through the hair at the back of my head. The other on the side of my face, your warm palm pressed against my cheek. I slid my arms around your slender waist. My palms against your lower back.

I pulled you closer as your tongue slipped out and caressed my lips, seeking entrance. I complied. The movements became frantic. I tore your shirt trying to remove it. You nearly tripped when trying to remove your pants.

My hands slid everywhere trying to feel every part of you.

We tumbled onto the thin sleeping mat in a tangle of limbs. It was hands, tongues, sweat, heat and desire. It may have been hormones or adrenaline but I don’t care.

I will always remember our first time.

* * *

I was an idiot after the first war and I’ll repeat that as many times as you want to hear it. Thought what we had was temporary. Simply stress relief. Decided to go my own way.

Complete idiot.

I know many people resent Barton for ruining the one year anniversary of the end of the war, but I will always secretly thank him. The surge of feelings at simply seeing you again was almost overwhelming. That was when I understood. That was when I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

I remember the look of joy on your face when I asked you to live with me.

* * *

You took the time to learn everyone’s name after we joined Preventers. You knew the name of the woman who worked at the front desk. You knew the names of the people whose offices shared a floor with ours. You knew the names of the clerks down in Records. You even knew the name of the man who came in once every six months to do scheduled check-ups and maintenance to the copy machines.

I remember the smile that came readily to your face whenever you talked with anyone.

* * *

You wanted it to be fast and red. I wanted it to be reliable and efficient. I pointed out how all the cars you wanted were only two-seaters. You eventually went with my choice.

I remember how difficult it was to ‘christen’ the back seat.

* * *

I don’t even remember what started it but I do remember how it escalated. I yelled things at you. You yelled things at me. I thought the fight was over when you stormed off to the bedroom. I felt frozen when you came back, bag in hand. The slam of the door behind you sounded excessively loud.

I remember how quiet the apartment was that night you were gone.

* * *

I watched the clock slowly tick all night. The moment it finally reached 8am and I knew you’d be awake for sure, getting ready for the work day, I called your cell phone.

I told you how much I regretted the things I said. How they were simply said out of anger and how I didn’t really mean them. You repeated the sentiment.

The work day was a somewhat awkward affair. I kept shifting my sight to you. And I think I caught you shifting your sight to me a few times. I wasn’t really sure what to say to you.

That evening, just before the end of the work day, I asked you to join me for dinner. I took you to a place you had showed interest in a few times but I for some reason had never made the time to go with you.

I was glad when the awkwardness between us finally cleared. You started to laugh that laugh that lights up your face. I started to smile that smile reserved only for you.

I remember that night was when I learned the term ‘make-up sex’.

* * *

You always spent any downtime during work hours over in the Preventers’ mechanics bay. I could always find you elbow deep in whatever vehicle was being serviced that day.

I told you to avoid going the time the flu was making the rounds there. You told me it’d be fine. Told me “I have a good immune system.”

To borrow your phrase “I told you so.”

I remember how annoyed with me you got when I kept making you drink water to stay hydrated. I helped make sure your braid didn’t slide forward as you emptied your stomach into the toilet bowl. I wiped the sweat from your fevered face as you fitfully slept. I was glad when you finally got over it.

I remember the sheepish look you gave me when I caught the flu as well.

* * *

You argued with Quatre when he suggested you’d look good in a white tuxedo. You said it would make you ‘the woman’. You went with white anyways.

I should have told you then but I loved how the purple tie and matching boutonniere brought out the color of your eyes. You were so radiant that day.

I remember when I promised to love you in sickness and in health.

* * *

It took you a week of cajoling but you finally got me to cave. The barking from all the dogs echoed loudly in the small animal shelter. When you saw her, you fell instantly in love. Her ears flopped playfully around her face. Her chocolate brown fur was soft. Her paws were disproportionately large. Her eyes looked up with adoration.

I hate to admit it, but it was love at first sight for me too.

You were so excited when we went to the large pet store to buy all the things we’d need for Persephone. If I had known the joy it would put on your face, I would have agreed the first time you asked.

When we got back to our apartment, I went around setting up everything while you rolled around the living room floor playing with our new puppy. It brought a smile to my face watching you.

Though, I will always remember the vet bill after she ate one of your shoes.

* * *

It really wasn’t a surprise. I think the only reason it took so long in the first place was to prevent workplace jealousy. The actual promotion from Special Agent to Senior Special Agent was a surprisingly quiet affair at the office.

You insisted on calling the rest of the guys. We all met at a bar. It had been far too long since we had all been together and we ended up having a few too many rounds.

I will never forget how bad you are at drunk karaoke.

* * *

With both of our promotions coming with an associated boost in pay grade, I decided it was finally time to stop renting an apartment.

I think you made the agent nervous when you kept asking her the siege capabilities and bomb resistance of each place we viewed.

I remember never being able to figure out if you were being serious or not.

* * *

It seemed like just yesterday when we were picking her up from the shelter, but when I think back I realise it was a good eleven years Persephone spent with us.

It was a difficult decision for us to make but when she eventually stopped eating we were sure that it was the end. We ended up taking her to the vet to have her humanely euthanized to save her from the rest of her slow decline of health.

We opted for cremation. We took the small urn with us to one of the wooded areas we often hiked together.

I remember the solemn silence as we said our goodbyes.

* * *

Quatre demanded we let him host our 20th anniversary celebration. I remember his aghast face when he heard all we did for our 10th was order some pizzas, drink beer, and watch an action movie.

It was pleasant enough. He invited the rest of the guys and a few other people from Preventers and before. He had a catered meal, an open bar, and a dance floor complete with DJ.

We slow danced for hours.

I remember that being the first time we got caught having sex in one of Quatre’s bathrooms.

* * *

The transition from field agent to consultant and trainer was a bit rough. You handled it better than me but you were always more social. You loved being surrounded by the recruits and sharing the knowledge you gained the hard way. Hoping they never had to be in a situation to use most of it.

I remember that was the first time I actually started to feel old.

* * *

We needed a few groceries and you decided to go. You said you couldn’t find the keys, but I found them where we usually put them. I had asked you to go to the store to buy cheese, milk, eggs and ground beef. You came back with cheese, eggs, and beef.

I asked you about the milk and you replied “What milk?” When I pointed out that I had asked you to get milk as well, you argued that I hadn’t. I said that I didn’t want to fight over it. You conceded that maybe I had mentioned milk and that you probably just forgot. You gave an excuse about being tired.

I remember making a mental note to start our extra curricular activities earlier in the evening to make sure you had plenty of sleep.

* * *

We had a new batch of trainees at work. We did our usual skills assessment routine. After the training session finished we met to compare notes. You kept having trouble following which trainee I was talking about as I went through them name by name.

You had that little crease in your brows that was your tell for being puzzled or confused.

That was the first time I remember being concerned.

* * *

We had always shared the household chores. You tended to favor the bookkeeping and bills, leaving the majority of the cleaning to me.

You had started to work on the budget for that week but stopped before getting very far. You told me I should do it that week. That you were too bored to pay attention.

I remember how you wore that fake smile of yours as you said that.

* * *

We met up with the rest of the guys to do our standard Christmas eve get-together. You laughed and joked with them all like usual. Quatre decided to make a toast ‘to Gundams’ in honor of the date.

You asked, “What’s a Gundam?”

When everyone went silent and stared at you, you laughed loudly and proclaimed it was “Just a joke! A joke!” The rest forced an awkward laugh. Wufei complained, “I think your jokes have actually gotten _worse_ with age."

Conversation continued and eventually the moment was forgotten by the others. But I noticed how you had stopped participating in the conversation other than the occasional group laugh. I noticed how the rest of the evening you had that small crease in your brows.

The next day I found "Gundam" in the computer's search history.

I remember that being the time I knew for certain something was wrong.

* * *

You were angry with me when I forced you to go to the doctor. I sat with you the whole time he talked with you.

I will be unable to forget the feeling of my heart stopping when I heard the words ‘early onset Alzheimer’s’.

* * *

I found you sitting on the bed. You were fully dressed except for the shoes sitting near your feet. You just sat there staring at them. You picked one up. You held it, observed it, and looked from it to your feet and back.

You threw it in frustration.

I calmly retrieved it and brought it over to you. I knelt down and helped you put the proper shoe on each foot. I quietly tied them for you.

I remember Une’s look of understanding when I retired from the Preventers early to be with you more.

* * *

When I woke you, you gained that now familiar crease in your brows. You asked me.

“Who are you?”

It took me a moment to respond. I had to gather myself.

“I’m Pilot 01. Special Agent Day. Heero Yuy. Your husband.”

I saw the spark of recognition flash through your eyes. Then I saw the realisation hit.

You started to cry.

I remember rocking us as I held you while you cried.

* * *

I turned on your favourite music before helping you sit up from the bed. I undid your braid. I brushed out the long golden brown tresses until they shined. My fingers went through the familiar motions as I replaited the silky locks. I ran my hand down the smooth braid.

The braid in remembrance of things you no longer remember.

I helped remove your pajamas. I brought over the clothes I had picked out earlier. I manipulated your arms to help get the shirt on over your head. I helped you stand as I shimmied your boxers up your legs. Then I put your pants on one leg at a time. I sat you back on the bed and knelt on the floor in front of you. I lifted one foot and then the other, sliding on a pair of socks. I repeated the action to put on your shoes.

I stood up and kissed you on the forehead. Then lead you to the kitchen where I would help you eat breakfast.

I remember our life together. I remember the good and the bad.

And I love you still.

**Author's Note:**

> -Author’s Note-
> 
> Don’t mind me. I’m just going to go cry in a corner.
> 
> Used the Alzheimer’s Association website for information. <http://www.alz.org/>


End file.
